The Established Path of Discipleship

The online Merriam-Webster dictionary defines winsome this way: “generally pleasing and engaging often because of a childlike charm and innocence.” The strongest match synonyms listed on Thesaurus.com are appealing, captivating, cute, delightful, and engaging. I think most of us want to be generally pleasing and engaging. We desire to be appealing, captivating, sometimes cute, and delightful. None of us want to be jerks, or do we?

When it comes to our thing (whatever issue or cause we are passionate about), we mistakenly think being winsome is a weakness. We are fighting a war (spiritual war, culture war), so we must be aggressive. With zingers and clever retorts, we must reduce those who disagree to mental midgets. I have heard and read Christians use coarse language to describe their opponents. We must not, after all, give the enemy any quarter.

Winsomeness is not found wanting in the approach of the Apostle Peter. Peter outlines the general approach to nonbelievers in 1 Peter 3:15: “But in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect.” We answer the questions and crazy assertions of those who do not believe with gentleness and respect. This response is required even though the actions of the world cause us to suffer at times (1 Pet. 3:14).

Winsomeness is not found wanting in the approach of the Apostle Paul. After telling Timothy to avoid foolish controversies, Paul says,

And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth. (2 Tim. 2:24-25)

Not being quarrelsome, being kind to everyone, and correcting opponents with gentleness are the antithesis of common Christian approaches to culture today. To Paul, however, these qualities displayed his strength.

Paul was not a mad culture warrior. Even though his spirit was provoked at the sight of all the idols in Athens, he did not run through the city with a club smashing all the idols. Instead, he reasoned with the religious (the Jews) and other people who happened to be in the marketplace (Acts 17:17). Instead of insulting the gathered crowd at the Areopagus for their idol worship, he used it as an opportunity to share the gospel (Acts 17:23). Paul quotes the Cretan philosopher Epimenides and the Greek poet Aratus to make a point in his sermon (Acts 17:28).

Paul’s winsome gospel presentation at the Areopagus got mixed results: some mocked, some wanted to hear more later, and some believed (Acts 17:32-33). It is important to note that the mocking was not due to Paul’s approach. Some mocked when they heard of the resurrection of the dead (17:32). It was the gospel, not Paul, that offended. Paul writes elsewhere, “For the word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God (1 Cor. 1:18).

Yes, we are fighting a war. It is a spiritual war. Paul says our weapons in this war “have divine power to destroy strongholds…destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God” (2 Cor. 10:4). We err if we think this language of divine power and destroying strongholds means an aggressive, antagonistic approach to culture and lost people. Instead, we must be winsome warriors like Paul. May God give us the grace to do so.