The Established Path of Discipleship

There is a grief that, at its onset, is inconsolable. This was the grief experienced by the parents in Israel during that first Christmas: “A voice was heard in Ramah, weeping and loud lamentation, Rachel weeping for her children; she refused to be comforted, because they are no more” (Matt. 1:18). I know this grief. It has been 20 years since my son died on Christmas Day.

Johnny was not under two years old like the victims of Herod’s murderous rampage, but the grief I experienced was initially inconsolable. Death’s unwelcome visit that day was an indescribable sting, robbing my family of any Christmas joy. And every year at Christmas, there is a reminder lingering in the background of every family gathering—someone is missing. I miss him every day and every holiday.

Over these past 20 years, I have learned a few things about grief. Chiefly, I realized that sorrow never leaves. It comes and goes. Some years at Christmas, I am okay. I make it through the Christmas season seemingly without noticing. For other years, I have been emotional, holding back tears from even the mildest tinge of sadness.

Sorrow comes and goes because I am still living in a fallen and broken world. Sorrow comes and goes, but God’s comfort is constant. Paul reminds us, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God” (2 Cor. 1:3-4). The God of all comfort has held me for twenty years, and I am confident he will hold me until he brings me home.

Sometimes, God comforts me through others, but sometimes, he comforts me in ways I cannot describe. There are many times when those lonely tears come that God speaks through my silent sorrow, and I know it will be okay. It will be okay because God never leaves me or forsakes me (Heb. 13:5). Sorrow may poke its head in the door, but it finds God is always home.

May God comfort those who grieve this Christmas and every Christmas.